Flavor Text Answers

Posted in Arcana on April 2, 2002

By Wizards of the Coast

During Flavor Text week, Rei Nakazawa ended his article on the flavor text process (read it here) with a guessing game about rejected flavor text. And now it's time for the answers! Over to you, Rei…

If you read my article, you know that I gave you some rejected flavor text from Odyssey and Torment. Well, here I am again to satisfy your curiosity!

A) "When confronting something as vile as the Cabal, there is no such thing as 'going too far.'"
Major Teroh, Torment. Give yourself some credit for any guess involving a white Torment aven.

B) "Humans travel in schools, and are quite mindless. Thus, they are a very easy catch." -- Ambassador Laquatus
Coral Net, Torment. A changed template pushed flavor text off this card entirely during editing.

C) "Laws are for weaklings, kings are for fools. If you can bear freedom, stand with me!"
Anarchist, Odyssey.

D) It melts into peat without a sound. The next noise you hear will be your own tortured screams.
Whispering Shade, Odyssey. Give yourself some credit for guessing Slithery Stalker, though observe that it could never have fit any flavor text, seeing as how only one Nightmare Horror (Laquatus's Champion) has any.

E) "The canopy is my roof, the leaf beds my carpet. The mighty oaks are my walls, the animals my neighbors. The forest is my home, and my world, and I shall not abandon it."
Woodland Druid, Odyssey. Give yourself some credit for guessing Seton, Krosan Protector or any other druid, but note that a piece that long would demand a card with very little or no rules text.

F) "The Cabal revived me, thinking they could control me. The fools."
Sengir Vampire, Torment. This one is a little tricky, considering how many undead there are in this block so far, but it could be guessable from the fact that this quote implies a rather unique being.

G) He remembers enough of his life to weep for what he has lost.
Sorry, can't tell you what this one is. See my original article to find out why. But I'm proud to say that this card is relatively important, though whether it's in tournament play, casual play, or storyline, you'll have to find out for yourself...

H) If you dare the swamps around the Cabal's stronghold, don't be surprised if you leave your mind behind.
Mind Sludge, Torment. One of the easier ones, but hey, I couldn't make 'em all obscure, could I?

I) When she takes wing, even mana rips itself apart in sheer joy.
Aven Cloudchaser, Odyssey. Obviously an aven, but the fit with the mechanic is too strong to be practically anything else.

J) "Respect is earned. The emperor shall earn yours with your blood, if need be."
Cephalid Retainer, Odyssey. The only cephalid besides Aboshan, Cephalid Emperor in the set with a creature control ability. Give yourself partial credit if you guessed Persuasion, which has the art that used to go on the Retainer. (Hey, bonus trivia! Share with your friends!)

And before I forget, the answer to the FNM question is Alex Shvartsman's favorite card, Steel Golem, which will very often stand alone thanks to its low casting cost and drawback. Who knows; maybe it'll pop up in a future FNM promotion.

Hope you enjoyed Flavor Text Week. Just remember how wildly different your artistic standards and view of the game are from others', and that the main goal of the game is to have fun. See you again at the flavor text stage of You Make the Card, if not sooner!

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