Such Article, Very Meme

Posted in Serious Fun on April 1, 2014

By Gavin Verhey

When Gavin Verhey was eleven, he dreamt of a job making Magic cards—and now as a Magic designer, he's living his dream! Gavin has been writing about Magic since 2005.

Is the coast clear? Is he gone?


Gavin Verhey, your usual ReConstructed specialist here. I told Bruce I was a little under the weather—but here I am! It's time to unfold my master plan.

According to the Everyday Dimir Villain's Evil Takeover Handbook, I believe this is the step where I'm supposed to explain my master plan. Tired of Bruce taking up half of the page with his Serious Fun column, I snookered him into writing ReConstructed this week so I could finally sabotage Serious Fun and have Tuesdays all to myself.

And how am I going to do that, exactly? By harnessing the power of the Internet. All in good time...

Of course, I brought my loyal companion and man's best friend along with me. He will no doubt help me sniff out whatever I need to on the Internet. In fact, he has a lot of Internet experience himself! Say hello to my loyal doge, Wuv Muffin!

With Wuv Muffin at my side, I'm sure he can scour out anything we need. And look! He's already off! Away we gooooooooooooooo!

What's that? Timmy fell down the well?

Wait, what else? The key to the Internet is to start by getting to the top of Reddit? Well, let's do it!

And what other way than via the power of imagination. And... deck building!

Okay, so what are we looking for? Well, a card that upvotes. You want to get as many upvotes as possible and you'll win... hey, I know a card like that! It's Helix Pinnacle!

Okay, well, let's see. What can we do here?

Well, we're definitely going to want to start with Helix Pinnacle. Mana ramp is good, and Heartbeat of Spring helps up the ante to get you there even faster as well. But that still is going to take a while—Helix Pinnacle is hard to get working!

It's not really upvoting if the creatures aren't helping as well, right? Well, fortunately, between Earthcraft, Heartbeat of Spring, and Eternal Witness, combined with something like Cloudshift, you can use your Eternal Witness for infinite mana. Your land taps for two white mana, Witness untaps it, you Cloudshift your Witness, Witness gets back Cloudshift, and you're just up a mana from where you were before. Bingo! One million Helix Pinnacle counters.

Also, appropriately, the deck can just win with the classic Squirrel Nest and Earthcraft combo. Why is it appropriate? Because Squirrels.

Additionally, I added in some counters to help protect the combo. No, not counters to put on your combo. I mean counters to help aid your combo. No not that kind, I mean... you know, why don't I just let this nice guy explain it to you:

When the deck all comes together, it ends up looking something like this:

Gavin Verhey's Reddit Deck Wins

Download Arena Decklist

Okay, we did it! We officially got upvoted. What do we do now? Tell me, trusty Wuv Muffin!

Well, it's all too clear what the next step is. I trust Wuv Muffin on this. It's time to recruit the trolls!

The trolls are always the trickiest ones to get on your side—but I think we can manage it.

There aren't any true troll tribal cards... but there are a few unique cards that can be used to help out all tribes—even Trolls. Adaptive Automaton is a sure bet that fits well in the deck as an inexpensive creature, and Descendants' Path helps get you Trolls out for free. Most Trolls are green, but stretching into Jund colors gives us a few cool ones as well, plus some on-theme spells. Some burn spells to properly flame people, of course.

Sometimes trolls work together... but not always. What would a Troll deck be without some of the Avacyn Restored loner cards like Homicidal Seclusion? Some trolls, are well...

Forever Alone

Download Arena Decklist

Wait a second! I get that it's a Jund deck, but still... Sarkhan, how did you get in here?

Okay, so I think that about wraps it up, right? We're at the top of the Internet and have all of the trolls on our side. Now Serious Fun is firmly under our command and... and....

You know what? That actually was pretty fun! I can see why Bruce does this every week. Maybe I'll let him have his column back for now. I guess that makes me Good Guy Gavin.

All right, well, I guess that's it then. Internet, you can go home. Bruce can have his column back, and I can go back to writing about... cats, or whatever it was that I was supposed to write about this week. Hey, I wonder why it was that I couldn't find any cat memes...

For me and Wuv Muffin, that's it for this week. I'll be back next week at my usual ReConstructed timey-wimey time, usual ReConstructed timey-wimey channel. (And I'll have a Journey into Nyx preview card for you to boot!)

Until then, have fun. And remember:



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