I'm sure many of you are wondering why a non-tournament-legal Magic supplement designed to bring a touch of fun to the game even bothers with a FAQ—uh, I mean QAS. That's a good question. Keep up the good work.

One general note: If some rules lawyer tries to argue over specific wording on a specific card, hit him or her over the head with a rolled-up newspaper. (Our Legal department stresses that if such an event occurs and a death/nasty paper cut results, we had nothing to do with it.) That said, on with the QAS.

Oops

Before we get to the questions, we have to address several cards that don't quite work "officially" the way we intended them. Now, I don't want to invoke the E-word, so let's just say that the following three cards are supposed to work in the spirit in which they were created.

The die rolled by Goblin Bowling Team should not trigger additional die rolls. Squirrel Farm should make a target opponent guess the artist. And Mirror, Mirror should simply force both players to swap game positions.

General

Who's a teammate?

A teammate is a player who shares a victory condition with you (you both win if you work together to remove another player or players). Partnership and Emperor games have teammates. Grand Melee does not. An opponent in a two-player game is never your teammate.

Are the basic lands tournament legal?

Yes. Any card with the same name as a tournament-legal card is legal for tournament play. (The land cards are black-bordered to reinforce this.)

What are these cards with a picture of a creature and no text?

These are token cards, which represent the most common token creatures (such as Goblins and Pegasi). Now you don't have to mess up the table with those little glass beads. Although these token creatures are represented by cards, they do not actually count as cards.

How do I decide if a player performed a subjective task (complimenting an opponent, rhyming, doing an action for Bureaucracy, etc.) correctly?

Use your best judgment. If the player made an honest attempt to perform the task, he or she should not be penalized.

If I don't have dice, can I figure out the effects using another random-number generator?

Yes. Just make sure the odds stay the same.

Can I target players in other games with Unglued cards or effects?

Unglued is wacky—but not quite that wacky. All effects stay within the game where they are being played, with the sole exception of the Double cards, which create an effect that carries over to the next Magic game those two players play together. Double cards can't affect players in other games.

Specific Cards

Can I use Ashnod's Coupon to force my opponent to go to Hawaii for a special drink that's only available there?

No. The rules governing unsportsmanlike behavior still apply. A player should ask only for something that can be reasonably acquired.

Can I force a minor to get me a beer?

For years we've tried to avoid acknowledging this fact, but I guess it's time the truth finally came out. Your national government's laws actually supersede all Magic rules. I just hope some nations don't pass new Mulligan laws.

While my opponent is away, can I perform other tasks, like picking the next action for Bureaucracy?

No. Ashnod's Coupon's effect does not resolve until the drink is returned. (Where else but an Unglued QAS can you hear a line like that?)

Can I cast Animate Dead on B.F.M.?

No. Animate Dead can target only one creature card. Although B.F.M. is considered one permanent (and one card) while in play, it is in fact two cards when in your hand, graveyard, or library. B.F.M. cannot be brought into play unless both pieces are brought in at the same time (say by Living Death or Incoming!).

When does B.F.M. turn from two cards to one?

B.F.M. becomes a single creature and a single card the moment it is played. Thus, it can be stopped by a single counterspell but does not trigger coming-into-play effects, like Pandemonium's, more than once.

Is there any way to bring just half of B.F.M. into play?

No, it's all or nothing. The creature can only come into play with both pieces.

Can I use Timmy, Power Gamer to bring B.F.M. into play?

Yes. Timmy loves 99/99 creatures.

If Blacker Lotus' ability is Interdicted (or Rusted), do I still have to rip it up?

No. Ripping up the Blacker Lotus is an effect, not a cost. (What can I say—we're softies.)

Am I eliminated once I rip up Blacker Lotus? I now have a marked card and an illegal deck.

Unglued tournaments work a little differently than normal tournaments. When playing with Unglued cards, you are not eliminated for "marking" cards that require ripping or for having fewer than sixty cards in your deck—provided you began the game with sixty or more cards. Before the next game, you must add cards from your sideboard to get back to sixty cards. If you cannot, you just play with all the cards you have. This rule also affects cards removed from the match by Look at Me, I'm the DCI or Jester's Sombrero.

If my opponent steals my Blacker Lotus, is he or she allowed to rip it up?

Yes. If you play with Blacker Lotus, you accept all its risks. However, you may concede the game (at super-duper, faster-than-interrupt speed) to keep your opponent from destroying the card.

Can I rip up the card zero times?

No, the rules text says to tear Blacker Lotus "into pieces." This requires at least one rip.

Since a sleeve has been ruled as an extension of a card for things like Chaos Confetti, can I rip up the sleeve on my Blacker Lotus instead of the card?

Read my lips. No loophole. To use the Lotus, you have to rip the card.

But what if my Blacker Lotus gets damaged through play and I'm forced to proxy it?

What part of "No loophole" don't you understand? A proxied card must be replaced by the real item when it comes into play.

Do two Bronze Calendars require two different voices?

No, one different voice satisfies both cards' effects.

Must I keep using the same voice?

No. You may use as many different voices as you like, as long as you avoid the one that you use normally.

What exactly does this card do?

During the next player's upkeep, he or she will pick a simple verbal or physical action such as clapping his or her hands. During his or her upkeep, the next player (you in a two-player game) must clap his or her hands and then add another action—for example, saying "Yabba Dabba Doo." During his or her upkeep, the next player claps his or her hands, says "Yabba Dabba Doo," and then adds a new action. This little game continues until someone messes up the order, at which point the controller of Bureaucracy sacrifices the card and the player who made the mistake loses all the cards in his or her hand. A player must clearly identify to all players what action he or she is adding.

What happens if there are more than one Bureaucracy in play?

Each player must satisfy each Bureaucracy action queue one at a time. He or she may choose the order in which to handle them.

Can I pick an action that makes it hard for my opponent to meet the requirements of another card?

Absolutely. For instance, you could pick clapping your hands when your opponent is enchanted by Volrath's Motion Sensor. Just remember that the action needs to be simple, so saying a Censored word twenty times is not acceptable.

Must I say my action, show my action, or both when adding an action to the action queue?

You must both show it and say it, so that your opponent understands what the action is. It's not the card's intent to make the opponent guess.

Does a card exchange control if it is tapped by another player, for instance with Icy Manipulator?

Any time a player taps a card by any means, he or she must give control of it to an opponent at end of turn. So, in a multiplayer game, Player A could tap Player B's permanent with Icy Manipulator and give the card to Player C at end of turn.

Is BCFoCCF considered tapped?

No. Card orientation is determined by the positioning of the components (casting cost, artwork, text box, etc.), not the length of the card sides.

Does Cardboard Carapace count other Cardboard Carapaces removed from the game?

No. Cardboard Carapace only counts cards that have never been in the game in question. Cards that have been removed from the game do not count towards this total. Neither do cards in the ante, phased out, or in limbo (the interval between casting and coming into play).

Must I own the Cardboard Carapaces?

No. You need only have the cards in your possession. If you get possession of some Cardboard Carapaces during a game (for example, Billy drops them off at your table when he's done with his match), they take effect immediately.

Can I choose the word "um"?

Yes. The Censored word may be slang and does not need to appear in a dictionary. A word is acceptable if it can be spoken.

If I choose the word "I" and my opponent says "eye," does he or she take 2 damage?

Yes. The Censored word is based upon speech, so homophones will trigger Censorship.

If I choose the word "side," does my opponent take 2 damage for saying the word "sidewalk"?

No. A player is damaged only for saying the exact word. Longer words that contain the banned word do not trigger Censorship.

Who's the artist on Censorship in case I'm forced to answer for Squirrel Farm?

The correct answer is there is no artist credited.

Chaos Confetti says I have to throw it from a distance of five feet. Can I stand on the table and drop the pieces from five feet above?

Nice try, smarty-pants. No. The five feet must be horizontal. Plus, the pieces must travel five feet from the center of play, so you may not stand five feet away, lean in four feet, and toss the pieces. Finally, you must throw all the pieces in a single toss.

Can I choose where to throw the pieces from?

Yes (but see above).

Can my opponent move his or her cards?

From the moment you activate Chaos Confetti, your opponent's cards may not be moved—not even in response—other than tapping or sacrificing cards to play a spell or ability in response.

How many pieces can I rip Chaos Confetti into?

As many as you like, but in a tournament, you could be called for stalling. In a private game, you'll just have to put up with your friends harassing you.

Are counters considered part of a card?

No. All relevant rulings for Chaos Orb (back in the days where we were crazy enough to let cards like that into tournaments) apply to Chaos Confetti. Note that players must leave enough of a card exposed (at least the title) to let an opponent recognize the card.

Can I use a hat or hairpins to secure Charm School to my head?

No, you may not use external equipment to secure a balanced Magic card to your body. (That sentence alone made this QAS worthwhile.) Out of respect for the follicly-challenged, though, you may wear a toupee while balancing the card.

Does the card have to lie flat?

Yes. Charm School must rest horizontally on the enchanted player's head.

Must players show what they intend to discard when they make the agreement?

No, only when they actually discard.

What if a player has no cards in hand?

That player is unable to discard a card and so can't satisfy the requirement of Checks and Balances.

Does Checks and Balances stay in play when a multiplayer game drops down to two players?

Yes. It only requires three or more players in the game when it is cast.

If I have Chicken à la King in play and my opponent rolls a 6, do all Chickens get a +1/+1 counter?

Yes.

Can it tap itself?

Yes—and quite enjoys it, I might add. This is the first creature card that can tap itself for an effect the turn it comes into play, even with summoning sickness.

Does the Giant Chicken token from Chicken Egg get a +1/+1 counter if Chicken à la King is in play?

Yes. The creation of the Giant Chicken resolves before the Chicken à la King's "roll 6" effect, meaning that the Giant Chicken is around when the +1/+1 counter bonus is handed out to all Chickens.

Can the Giant Chicken attack the turn it is put into play?

No, the Giant Chicken will have summoning sickness just like any other token creature.

Why doesn't the Giant Chicken fly?

Giant chickens just don't fly.

Must the six words be consecutive in the song?

BZZT! BZZT! Rules lawyer alert—in a word, yes.

Must the six words be different?

After taking a look at the card's flavor text, I'd have to say the answer is no.

If I have a second Clam Session in play, can I repeat a song I used last turn for my first one?

Yes, but I'm publicly calling you a wimp for doing so.

If a card lets me sacrifice it for an effect, can I do this with the card I'm giving to my opponent?

No.

Must I be seated when I catch Clay Pigeon? The card just says I have to be seated when I throw it.

Sit your sorry rules-lawyer butt down and catch the darn card. Yes.

Can I use two hands to catch Clay Pigeon after I attempt to catch it with one hand?

No. You should be ashamed you even asked.

If the card bounces off my hand, can I still catch it?

Yes. As long as the card has touched nothing other than your hand, you may continue trying to catch it.

Do I need to ask myself for permission when I cast my own spells?

Yes. This is a wacky set after all.

What exactly does "lose contact" mean?

It means a player is not in direct physical contact with at least one card in his or her hand of cards.

What if my opponent has no cards in hand?

A player cannot lose contact with a hand of no cards.

Can an Unglued match affect a tournament-legal game?

No. Double cards affect the next non–tournament-legal game you and your opponent play. For organized Unglued play, they affect only games during the same match. (An organizer can change this rule if he or she lets players know at the beginning of the tournament.)

Does a Double card's effect happen if the chosen player is my teammate in our next game?

It happens in the next game involving both players, regardless of the relationship between them.

Do I reroll power and toughness for Elvish Impersonators each turn?

No. Its power and toughness are determined when it comes into play and stay constant as long as the card stays in play.

Do I have to flip multiple coins simultaneously?

You're not required to—but if you do, you have to call heads or tails once, and it applies to all the flipped coins.

What happens if I cast Flight on a creature enchanted by Fowl Play?

Just look up the rulings for Humility.

Does "counts as a Chicken" override a creature's original summon type?

Yes.

Are the creatures set aside by Free-for-All considered to be removed from the game?

Yes, "set aside" is the same as "remove from play."

If there is a B.F.M. set aside by Free-for-All, do I have two chances to get it?

No. Treat B.F.M. as one creature for the purposes of Free-for-All.

What if cards are distinguishable from one another?

If you can easily tell where the cards originated, use another method that will create a random result (such as assigning lands based on a die roll).

If I have two teammates, can I swap their life totals with Get a Life and leave mine as is?

No, you and all your teammates must swap life totals. If two players have the same life total, though, they can swap with one another and thus stay the same.

What games does this card count?

In organized play, Ghazbán Ogress only counts official games played that day. (Organizers can change this rule if they let players know up front.) For casual play, do as you wish.

Can I use Giant Fan to move a counter from a card onto itself and change the counter type?

No, the counter must move to another card.

What happens if the new card mentions more than one type of counter?

The controller of Giant Fan selects the type of counter.

Can I keep the counter the same type if the new card mentions a counter?

No. If, for example, you move a +1/+1 counter to a Wall of Roots, it must become a -0/-1 counter.

Can I use the Bookie's ability to force another player to reflip or reroll?

Yes.

If I reroll a 6 with Goblin Bookie, do I still get Chicken à la King's Chicken bonus?

No. Rerolling a die prevents the original roll from ever happening. For you rules lawyers who haven't been scared away yet, that's what we call a "replacement effect."

Doesn't this card create an effect during resolution, which is illegal?

Ssh! Ignore the man behind the rules curtain. The card is, um, a special interrupt that works faster than any interrupt has ever worked before. Things that it triggers happen after the reroll or reflip. And, Goblin Bookie allows you to get the mana needed to use it. Yeah, that's it. The short answer is: "It just works."

Why isn't Gus a Summon Legend?

Because there is no one Gus. Gus is everywhere.

How far back are losses counted?

See above under Ghazbán Ogress.

Can I count any game played or just Magic games?

Just Magic games.

Must I control a counter to sacrifice it?

Actually, no one controls counters. They are wild pieces of colored glass that roam the game world. You can sacrifice any counter on a card you control. However, token creatures (even ones represented by Unglued cards) are not considered cards; thus Hungry Hungry Heifer can't eat counters off token creatures, even those you control.

Is this denim?

This question got asked way too much in playtests. If you're wearing jeans or a jean jacket or shirt, Bessie ain't getting blocked.

Can I remove my pants?

This was the most popular question asked at the Unglued prerelease. (Proof that Unglued is not your average Magic set.) The answer is yes you may, but only if your attire under your jeans meets the decency requirements of the setting the game occurs in. This means, for example, if it would be inappropriate to sit in your briefs in the game store, then you cannot remove your pants.

How fast can you remove your pants?

Removing clothing is faster than mana source speed. (Did you think this QAS would get this weird?)

What order do cards come into play?

Everything comes into play simultaneously.

Must I show my opponent which card is which before I start playing Three-Card Monte?

Yes.

Must cards be turned back over when the effect is finished, or do I get a neat Illusionary Mask benefit?

Get real. Cards must be turned back over.

If a card already has another card partially hiding it, how much has to be covered by the dropped lands for it to be destroyed by Landfill?

Only the exposed parts of the card. For instance, a creature with a creature enchantment on top of it will be destroyed if the dropped lands cover the visible parts of the creature card.

Does Lexivore's ability count flavor text?

Yes, Lexivore counts all text when deciding what card to eat.

Do cards like Humility, Fowl Play, or Titania's Song remove the rules text on the cards they "overwrite"?

No. The text always remains on a card even if another card revises its abilities.

How many lines of text does a Portal or Unglued land have?

A Portal land has one line of text one character long. An Unglued land does not have a text box and thus has zero lines of text.

What language is a foreign card considered to be written in for Lexivore?

Lexivore ignores the "most recent wording of the card" rule and just counts the lines on the actual card being used. (A small incentive to stay away from German cards in Unglued play.)

When I choose a card, what exactly happens?

The chosen card is banned from play just as if the DCI had interceded. The card is immediately removed from all areas of play and the sideboard. For the remainder of the match, no copy of the chosen card may be brought into play.

Who is considered the owner of a card after the Mirror Mirror swap?

Ownership swaps for the duration of the effect. At game's end, ownership reverts to the real owner of the card.

Since the card does not mention tokens, what happens to all my token creatures when I cast this spell?

The token creatures remain. Yes, this combines well with cards like Squirrel Farm or Snake Basket.

If I have two Ows in play, must each player say "Ow" four times?

Yes, Ow works like Plague Rats. Each Ow makes you say "Ow" for each Ow in play.

What constitutes a color?

Colors are defined very broadly. For example, any shade of red—pink, scarlet, crimson—all count as red. Colors with a red component—like orange or purple—do not.

May I put on a sweater in response to this spell?

Since we let you take off your pants for Hurloon Wrangler, it would be sort of hypocritical not to let you put on clothing for this card.

Must I show my opponent that my underpants are indeed red?

Yes. Once again Magic brings people closer together.

What is considered clothing?

Any item that is worn and is made out of cloth or like material. Shirts, pants, socks, shoes, and hats are all acceptable. Watches, jewelry, and glasses are not.

How long must I hold the card to my forehead?

As long as Psychic Network is in play, you must hold the top card of your library up to your forehead. This means that each time you draw a new card, you put the one from your forehead into your hand and replace it with the top card of your library.

Can I use the natural sweat of my brow to hold the card in place?

Yes. Holding a card in place (as contrasted to balancing a card) can be done by any convenient means. You may, for example, use glasses or a hat to hold a card to your head. Cards that are balanced (like Charm School or Volrath's Motion Sensor) may not be aided by exterior items in any way.

If an effect prevents me from being the target of a spell, what happens when Ricochet retargets a spell to me?

Ricochet's ability fizzles, and the spell affects the originally targeted player.

What if there are an equal number of men and women playing in the room?

Then nobody gets the bonus. (I'd like to see this "problem" occur more often.)

Can other players outrace the caster to say "Sorry"?

No. Only the caster can say "Sorry" before the spell is cast.

Can I use Spatula of the Ages to put sorceries, instants, or interrupts into play?

No. It applies only to permanents, even though the card doesn't say so specifically.

Can I identify the artist's real name, or must I use the pseudonym on the card?

You must name the artist as written on the card. This means that you must identify a misattributed or pseudonymous name to keep the Squirrel from showing up.

If I roll a 6 (reroll twice) and then roll a 1, what happens?

That roll has no effect, but you still roll the second die.

I'm confused. How does this work?

The nice people of Wizards of the Coast Customer Service at (800) 324-6496 will be glad to explain it to you.

Does this card actually work? It comes into play tapped.

Yes. A ruling from a while back allows a tapped artifact to function when it's necessary for the card to work properly.